It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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