fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!