you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth