I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize