I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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