I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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