Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
