I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
