Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
