escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Sober January is a disaster.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
