why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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