and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
