You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize