Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
