Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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