Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Actions speak louder than pants.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
