Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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