I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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