can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
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no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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