That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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