My hand turned me down
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
