So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He keeps bees of course he's weird
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
