i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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