evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize