let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
