eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I wish there were birth control emojis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
