remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
