He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize