She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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