Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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