Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
