It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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