I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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