Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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