I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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