Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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