I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
