A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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