He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
