We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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