Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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