i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
