Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
