My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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