I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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