insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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