You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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