feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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