absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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