I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
