It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
