woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
