Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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