I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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