SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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