Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
