Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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