currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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