According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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