1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
