You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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