They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize